It's the Final Countdown: Help Becca Get 4 Students

Be-do-de-do. Be-do-de-do-do. Be-do-de-do. Be-do-de-do-do-de-do. Be-do-do. Be-do-de-do-do-do-do-deeeeeeeee-doooooooo.!

Read that out loud ... or just watch this:

Well, we've made it to the end. Tomorrow is my class' last chance.

I just need 4 students. 4 students to keep the dream alive.

Help a sister out.

Copy+Paste the following pre-written statement, and then share with the link of your choice:

To anyone living in the SF Bay: If you've ever wanted to get college credit to learn more about sex, this is your chance (this class credit transfers to UCs and CSUs). And! Not only will you learn about sex for credit, but you'll learn from an engaging professor who keeps you entertained and gives you every possible opportunity to succeed.

The catch? You have to enroll TODAY. Like right now. If she doesn't get 4 more students by 12pm on August 5th, the class is done. (And she's not sure when she'll get another opportunity to teach.)

Don't believe me that she's awesome? Check out what her students from Spring 2004 have to say about her course.

(This is where you choose a link to share):

Like the Top-10 Reasons Post? Share this link:

LIke the flier? Share this link:

That's it. Wherever you spend most of your social media time, you just need to copy+paste twice, and we'll see what happens.

And no matter what happens, I want to thank everyone who shares. You all are the best, and your support means the world!

Keep Thinking,

Posted on August 4, 2014 .

Becca Responds to "No Playing WIth Vulvas At the Table" Article

She's older now, but ... cheeks!!

She's older now, but ... cheeks!!

My sis is a new parent!

This is her adorable gingeraguan baby!

Just like many other parents, my sister came across the huffpost article on sex positive parenting (it was also flying around the internet as "Don't play with your vulva at the table.")

My sis asked me what my thoughts were on the article, and in prime form, I waited like three days and then wrote a full blog post on the matter.

This is what I posted directly to her facebook wall, so my apologies for any crazy typos or grammatical errors.

Just thought some of you might want to know my two cents as well:

So here’s my two cents (better late than never, eh?): When trying to parent a sexually healthy child, you should share your success and cross your fingers that your child makes the same good choices you did. When they don’t, be flexible and continue to guide them from a place of acceptance.

Here’s the longer explanation behind that sentiment:

Let’s start by saying this: I’m not a parent. So I’m not commenting on this from the perspective of having the responsibility of influencing someone’s choices over the course of a lifetime.

But. I did teach a looooooot of teenagers issues in sex and sexuality, so I’ve seen the various effects that different parenting strategies have on their perceptions and actions.

People are biased in favor of the beliefs and strategies that have successfully brought them through life, and will parent from that bias. (Not a judgment, just a statement of fact.)

Here is a non-sexual example:

You buy a Honda and it drives 500,000 miles without a repair. You will always believe that Hondas are the best cars ever (even if your neighbor’s Toyota is rocking the same incredible track record). [Please feel free to replace this with two cars of your choice.]

Having a tank of Honda doesn’t negate that your neighbor’s Toyota is also the shit. Had you made a different choice 25 years ago and bought a Toyota, you probably would’ve been just as happy (and just as biased in favor of that car).

This applies to sex just as easily.

There are literally thousands of ways that people can find sexual happiness, and there are a thousand philosophies or teachings that can plant the seeds that eventually grow into sexual happiness. One person’s success doesn’t negate another’s success (even when those two philosophies may seem antithetical to one another.)

I think that anyone’s philosophy or strategy around parenting a sexually healthy child is viable so long as:

1) You talk to your kids openly and organically about sexual matters. Sex should be a conversation that is as natural as talking about how school went. When it comes up, be honest, accurate (like Barbara said, no storks!), and age appropriate (when a 4 year old says, “Where do babies come from?” you can say, “The uterus!” and that might be enough to satiate them for the moment.). 

When your kids need guidance, give it based on your success, whatever that looks like.

2) You remain flexible if/when they inevitably make their own choices, and those choices don’t look like yours. From the moment they pop out, you can’t control the path a child takes through the world; you can only give them guidance. If your guidance comes from a place of acceptance for their different choice, they are much more likely to listen to you.

When I was teaching teens, these two parenting strategies were pretty reliable indicators of teens who made good sexual choices. Anytime a teen was like “My parents don’t talk to me about sex.” Or “My parents are haters and think my choices are whack!” the statement that inevitably followed was "And I engage in crazy/risky/unhealthy sexual behavior x,y,z.”

Lea Grover’s article IS an example of what sex-positive parenting looks like.

I personally believe it is one successful way to parent a sexually healthy child, but it may not be your way to do so. Take what she said that resonates with you and use it, and feel free to ignore anything that doesn't.

Posted on August 3, 2014 .

Becca Responds to Sex Spreadsheet Hypotheses

A few days ago, I challenged folks to hypothesize why I made certain changes to improve the infamous sex spreadsheet. I received some great hypotheses, counter-arguments, and suggestions for improvement. 

This is the type of educational experience you'll have if you enroll in my class. I set up educational session where students are encouraged to bring their opinions and thoughts to the table. In my class, my students teach each other as much as I teach them (I do throw in my professional expertise when it's needed, of course!)

And the best part? You get my responses to your thoughts in real time, instead of having to wait three days. Instant gratification.

And at $46 a unit (it's a 3 unit course), getting to work with me is a steal

Hypothesis 1: He has a goal, so he needs a strategy.

"I really love this Becca!

The strategy is definitely important if you have a goal in mind and you're hoping for a certain response...
(I can't see why the banana hammock wouldn't work however)"

Becca's Response: Indeed!  Dudebro is looking for a certain response. (Yes to sex).  If he doesn't analyze what he's doing on his end, his analysis doesn't provide all the data he needs to succeed.  (And maybe he was just wearing the wrong banana hammock!)

Hypothesis 2: "Excuse" keeps him in the negative zone, "Response" is more neutral.

"I feel the word "excuse" has a negative connotation to it whereas a "reason" is an explanation of the event. By using the word "excuse" it places blame on the wife. When you changed it, it took the negativity out of it for me."

Becca's Response: Ding ding ding! In sex research, we call this eliminating bias. His bias right now is that his wife is supposed to want sex every single time he wants it. 

To paraphrase Chia Vasquez (this kickass behavior change coach who used to help the high school kids I worked with waaaaaaay back in the day), "Something happens to you, you have an emotion about what happened, and then you give that event meaning.  What happened is a fact, the meaning you give it is not."

In this case, dude's wife said no, and gave a reason. Dude's bias led to a negative emotional response, and the meaning he gave that emotion was "she's just making excuses."  The fact is that she said no. His assignation that it was an excuse was not a fact.

By eliminating 'excuse' we eliminate something that is not a fact - we eliminate bias in his data collection. By sticking to the facts, he may have been able to do something constructive with the data (instead of dropping his destructive email bomb).

Please note:  I am not saying that dude shouldn't have had his emotional response. Being consistently told no is hard. What I am saying is that he had a choice over the meaning he gave that emotion. Like this respondent:

"I dig the response, as opposed to excuse. I probably wouldn't be smart enough to figure that one out, as I would focus on blame, rather than discussion. Hopefully, I will take that as an important lesson from a fantastic professor!"

Hypothesis 3: The strategy column helps dude understand how he can change future actions.

"Overall, I think the strategy column adds to the understanding for Dude and how to go back and see how to change things moving forward. If one strategy didn't work, try a new one: communication! Italicizing the successful strategies (although rare: "As beat the Marlins", lol) will help Dude understand how to best tackle the sexless relationship he's in and how to treat his lady with more communication and better tactics."


"I am going to take it a step further and hypothesize that A) recognizing what tactics work, and B) mixing up your tactics, will help contribute to positive responses from your partner."

Becca's Response: This is what Chip and Dan Heath would call "identifying a bright spot."  Some of my favorite behavior change theorists, the Heath brothers really take time to emphasize that part of successfully changing something relies upon analyzing what is working, and trying to recreate this success.

As one of our commenters pointed out:

"Maybe he should try back rubs more often, oh and watch A's games."

Those are his bright spots! And like our second respondent mentioned, he doesn't necessarily have to stick to back rubs and A's games. By knowing what works, he can take some time to say, "Okay, she's more likely to say yes when I do something for her, or when we watch exciting sporting events." He can take those themes and expand upon them (foot rubs and romantic viewings of re-runs of the Giants in 2012!)

A Suggestion for Improvement: Chronicle the Days Events For Even Better Understanding

One respondent suggested the following improvement:

"He should chronicle the days events because I'm betting the days he got laid he probably helped around the house or actually listened to her when she talked it maybe even cuddled with her! Lol"

A Challenge: Chores for Sex? Not so healthy, IMO.

One of our respondents challenged this suggestion with the following:

"The addition of the items of the day could help, but that also leads to a different problem for dude-bro, in my opinion. Having sex fall prey to chores and such does not make sense, to me. I feel it is a selfish and disheartening use of [chores] as ransom...

I think that a healthy sexual relationship, for both partners, needs to address the libido directly, not be used as a bargaining chip for household chores. At that point, it is counter-productive to both of them (not having sex sounds awful for both, but that is my very biased opinion)."

Becca's Response: I would like to thank the second respondent for real-talk, and sharing their truth. And super big thank you for identifying your bias!  And I think your point brings up good discussion about the limitations of collecting data, and the importance of actually using the data.

In collecting data where there is simply a 'strategy' and then a 'response, ' there is a limitation. That limitation? Desire for sex is often much more complex than the simple cause and effect presented by SexSpreadsheet 2.0.  

I think what our first respondent said (no matter how jokingly) is important in regard to bringing attention to this complexity.

Collecting data that illuminates the greater context of the day could provide even better data on how dudebro's actions are affecting how his wife responds to him sexually.

That being said, I think the following respondent nails it in regard to your concern over chores as a bargaining chip:

"I don't believe the data was being presented as a reward structure for chores, but so that the individual is taking an active and constructive role in what he/she wants. And as you pointed out, being able to have an open conversation about what each party wants is super ideal!"

After collecting data about what happens throughout the day, dude might find out that he's more likely to get laid when he does more than his fair share of chores.  

He then has an emotion. He might ascribe the meaning "she's using sex as bargaining chip for getting out of chores."  He could just as easily ascribe the meaning, "she gets turned on watching my butt waggle around while I'm on my hands and knees washing the tub." The truth is, he doesn't actually know until he chats with her about it.

You nailed it when you said this:

"The more robust analysis you presented ("palatable chunks") can help dude-bro (or any of us, for that matter) to understand the reasoning why, which can lead to mutual solutions (after discussion, of course). I just hope that the parties involved discuss options from the perspective of improvement, not blame or retaliation."

Data is only as powerful as how we collect it, respond to it and choose to share it.

The original dudebro that spawned this conversation collected biased data which he allowed to fester. He shared it in the spirit of blaming his wife, without any shred of openness or willingness to come up with mutual solutions.

Hopefully, through the dicussions we've had about this over the course of the past few weeks, some of you will come out on the other side with a solid understanding of how you can grow your own really helpful data collection tool from the ashes of this guy's major fuck up.

Keep Thinking!

Epilogue: Endless Modifications!

"Maybe if the column was "action/activity", then the dude can see if it is his actions or words that make the difference. Is do > say?. What about a "days since last sex" column... That could be interesting to see. "

Becca's Response: I made some modifications I think could help, but the truth with any tool is that customization is the key to success. These could work just as well as the modifications I created.

When customizing, just keep the following in mind:

  1. What is the purpose of collecting the data?
  2. How will you share this data constructively when you do gather it?
  3. How can you remove bias from what you're collecting?

Have any other modifications you think could lead to a constructive conversation? Put them in the comments below:



Posted on August 2, 2014 .

Sex Spreadsheet 2.0: New and Improved

There has been a stay of execution. I have one additional week to get my numbers up.

Mission: Get enrollment up to 10 by Tuesday, August 5th.

To kick off my campaign's rebirth and resurgence, I am actually going to use the methodology I normally use inside my CCSF classroom.

"Hold on to ya' butts." -Samuel L. Jackson, Jurassic Park

Over the course of the past few posts, I've used the sex spreadsheet to teach you:

 ... and I got to thinking that while the sex spreadsheet is good, it needs some help to be great.

(And if you were an earlier consumer of SmartHotFun back in it's "How to have great sex" days, you know that I am obsessed with greatness.)

So I reworked the spreadsheet to take it from good to great:

All items in the "Strategy" column are completely fictional (but still probably what he did).

All items in the "Strategy" column are completely fictional (but still probably what he did).

If you haven't seen the original, here it is, for reference:

Image Credit:

Image Credit:

The changes that I made to the sex spreadsheet are extremely intentional.

Looking at the difference between the first and the second spreadsheet, you'll notice that I did three things:

  1. I added a "Strategy" column to the spreadsheet.
  2. I changed the word "excuse" to the word "response."
  3. Following with his pattern, I italicized the times where his (totally made-up but probably true) strategy led to a 'Yes" in the "SEX?" column.

So those are what the changes are ... but...

Why did I make those changes?

What is it about adding a strategy column that makes this a more effective set of data?

What does changing "excuse" to "response" actually change?

Why did I highlight the times he was successful?

What do you think?

I will eventually tell you the answers, but first, I want to see what you think.

Hypothesize (aka come up with some reasons) why I made these changes in the comments below.


Posted on July 30, 2014 .

Using the Sex Spreadsheet To Get Blown (Instead of Blown Off)

Today is D-Day (earlier than expected). My department chair is in meetings with the dean, and my class will either get a stay of execution, or will be cancelled. I will keep you posted.

And! Educate:

As you already know, I think the Desire Discrepancy Spreadsheet is awesome.

It introduces the concept of desire discrepancy to the world with some serious dramatic flair, and it’s a brilliant illustration of the types of concrete examples that can be helpful when communicating an issue to a partner.

That being said, the dude who built this spreadsheet wasted the data he collected with his less than stellar delivery.

Here’s one way I think that dude could’ve used the data in the DDS to get his lady to blow him (instead of just blowing him off).

He could’ve refined data down into palatable chunks, and figured out how to better understand, and possibly overcome, each ‘chunk’ one at a time.

Even if dude had mature delivery, dumping the whole data set on his wife all at once would be overwhelming. When it comes to behavior change, people often need to be eased into things gently.

I speak from experience. I’m messy by nature. Not tornado-hit-my-house messy, but more like I-will-step-over-a-pile-of-dirty-clothes-for-two-weeks-before-picking-it-up messy.

My partner? Not messy.  And if he compiled a “Messy Becca Spreadsheet” and showed me each and every time I was messy? Chances are I would do nothing but be pissed and get hella defensive.

But my partner is smart. He chunks his critiques, and hits me with them one at time. First it was the hair on the floor in the bathroom, then it was the gross wadded up towel full of coffee grounds on the counter. (The very long list could go on.)

Once I successfully pick up the cleanliness ritual (or it is a horrible failure and he knows there is no hope), he moves on the next one.

With the data compiled, dude’s wife had patterns enough for him to sufficiently break them down into palatable, tackle-able chunks.

Chunked for his (lack of) pleasure.

Chunked for his (lack of) pleasure.

For example, she rejects him quite a bit on the premise that she’s feeling gross. 

Here are three possible ways he can tackle that chunk (or any other chunk he identifies):

1) Tell her how the rejection makes him feel using “I statements” (which, btw is something we practice in my CCSF class).

A-la “Hey lover-face. I notice that sometimes when I want to have sex, you tell me that you’re gross and you need to shower. Which I totally get. But sometimes, you don’t shower. This is confusing for me, and makes me feel like you’re not being totally honest.”

2) Suggest ways that she can un-gross herself, or ways he can help her un-gross herself.

A-la “Hey lover-face. I notice that sometimes when I want to have sex, you tell me that you’re gross and you need to shower. Maybe the next time that happens, I can help you get the grime out by running you a bath, washing your hair, and lathering you up!”

3) Learn from the pattern.

If she really doesn’t like starting sex when she's sweaty and grimy, maybe he should learn from the pattern and not initiate right after she comes back from the gym. 

(As difficult as pheromones may make that task -- as they will be alllllll up in her gym sweat -- he could still learn. [Don’t know about the role of pheromones in arousal? You’ll learn about that in the Male and Female Physiology section of my CCSF class.])

Speaking of learning from the pattern, I have one more thing to say about how we could’ve better used the spreadsheet.

Tune in tomorrow to find out the one thing he could’ve done to improve his chances of success, and decrease all those rejections.

Keep Thinking

Posted on July 28, 2014 .

Why The Desire Discrepancy Spreadsheet is AWESOME

Day 4 of the campaign to save my CCSF Class. Still holding strong at 6.  I should mention that anyone can take this class. Seriously anyone with the drive to be a better sexual person (with the time spare Thursdays from 6p - 9p) can be a part of it. Enroll today using CRN 75511.

Yesterday, I introduced (or re-introduced to some of you) to the desire discrepancy spreadsheet.

I left you with the following sentiment:

I think the desire discrepancy spreadsheet is AWESOME.

I don't think the way dude delivered it was awesome, and the dude’s sense of entitlement was also far from awesome. But the tool itself? Is brilliant.


Think about it.

How many times have you told a partner, “Hey partner, there is this thing that’s bothering me about our relationship, and I’d like us to fix it.”

And then you’re partner goes, “Give me an example of one time that I did that thing and I’d be happy to start working on it.”

And then your palms start to sweat, and you can’t make eye contact, and in you're head you're like, "FUUUUUUU..." because even though you’re 100% sure your partner is doing this this thing that drives you crazy, you can’t bring up an actual moment to save your life.


The DDS is brilliant because it is a list of concrete examples.

Concrete examples are super helpful when trying to communicate an issue with a partner (Something we will talk about at length in the Love and Communication in Relationships section of my CCSF course). In fact, sometimes coming up with a concrete example is the only way to get a partner to understand where you’re coming from.

If you separate the DDS itself from the context of how it was used, the DDS is a gem of a tool that you could customize to help you articulate anything in a relationship that might be bothering you.

For example:

Your partner never washes the dishes? Dirty Dish Spreadsheet.
Your partner makes crazy excuses to not take the dog out to poop? Dog Dookie Spreadsheet.
Your partner constantly quotes that one movie where that guy talks to animals? Doctor Doolittle Spreadsheet.


The possibilities are endless, but don’t go run out and make your own DDS just yet.

Something else we need to learn from dudebro, is that the data collected is only as powerful as it’s delivery (something we talk about in the Sex Research section of my CCSF class. Just Sayin’).

The DDS guy had a great tool, and really solid data, but he squandered his findings with the worst possible delivery ever.

In a few days, I’m going to talk about how, out of the shit mess that the DDS dude made, there is plenty of fertilizer that can help all our relationships to grow.

Or in other words, I’ma talk about how dude could‘ve taken all the data collected in the DDS to get his wife to agree to some more hot, mutually wanted sex.

Keep Thinking!

Posted on July 24, 2014 .

Why I Love The Rejection Spreadsheet

We’re in day 3 of my campaign to save my CCSF class (Thurs 6p-9p, Starting August 21st; CRN 75511; Click here to register; Click here to (hella easily) apply)! Check out the thermometer to the right to check in about how things are going!

Now, instead of continuing to ask people to enroll, and listing all the reasons why my students think I'm awesome, I'm just going to educate from here on out (with some moderate parenthetical pandering).  

If you like my style and want to experience education like this in a college level course, then enroll using the links above.

Speaking of education, let's talk about what you can learn from the now infamous spreadsheet.

Which spreadsheet, you ask?

Well. There’s this dudebro who apparently wants to bang it out with his wife pretty consistently. His wife is consistently not into making sweet, sweet love for a series of reasons that dudebro listed, in detail, on a spreadsheet … that he emailed to her before she left to go on a business trip.

Photo Credit:

Photo Credit:

I've come to think of this spreadsheet very fondly as the Desire Discrepancy Spreadsheet (DDS).

And yes, I do think of it fondly. I think the DDS has endless potential to spark some great discussion about communication in relationships (we discuss communication in relationships in my CCSF class on October 30th, btw).

Wait, back up. WTF is Desire Discrepancy?

Desire Discrepancy is when, on a consistent basis, sexual desire between two people does not align. (I.e. On a consistent basis, dudebro wants to have sex, and his wife would rather watch TV or fall asleep in her own gym sweat.)

What dudebro detailed in such superb technological fashion is a classic case of desire discrepancy (something we’ll be talking about in my class on November 20th in our “Sexual Difficulties” section).

Yup! There's a name for the phenomenon. And the name is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what you can learn from the spreadsheet.

In my post tomorrow, I'm going to talk about why I think the desire discrepancy spreadsheet is AWESOME. (Even if the way dude decided to share it was pretty whack.)

Keep Thinking

Posted on July 23, 2014 and filed under CCSF Campaign.

10 Reasons Why You Should Take Human Sexuality at CCSF With Becca Brewer

Registration is Still Open!!

I need 7 more students to keep the class.

If you're interested, I need a commitment! Email me at I will give you everything you need to register.

Need information on how to enroll? Click here.

I could talk allllllll day long about why I think people should learn about sex from me. But I'll be damned if anything I come up with is better than what my Spring 2014 students have to say on the matter.

Here are 10 reasons why students from my very first CCSF class think that you should take IDST 17: Human Sexuality on Thursdays from 6p - 9p with me.

# 10: You’ll have fun.

“The class is fun and engaging. Becca comes prepared with new material and activities to do in class.  She comes up with such creative examples; anything to provide the student with a better understanding.”

# 9: You’ll learn topics relevant to your life.

This is a class for day to day living. The information is human and relevant.”

# 8: You’ll be stoked about class every week.

“It is rare to be excited to go to class every week and so engaged in the subject matter but this class did just that.”

#7: You’ll be treated like more than just another student.

“Students would be happy to take your class because you don’t treat us only like students, but people that you want to learn from and are interested in sharing information with. Your class is the prefect platform for open discussion and to experience a professor that doesn’t back away from any topic.”

#6: You’ll like the instructor.

“There is one very simple reason why you should this class, the professor.” 

#5 You’ll have a safe place to explore sexuality.

“Someone should take this class next semester because it is important to explore human sexuality. Specifically, Becca’s class provides a safe environment to have dialogues centered around these sensitive topics. She keeps it real, engaging, and fun.”

# 4: You will understand relationships better.

“Not only is this class incredibly fulfilling personally, helping us come to terms with our individual sexuality and our personal relationships, it is integral to our struggle to participating meaningfully in society.”

#3 You will understand yourself better.

“This class allows you to be refreshingly open and honest with yourself, your sexuality, and your peers. You learn more about why you may be who/what you are.”

#2: You’ll feel more confident at the end of semester.

“A scientific, realistic, and honest approach to sex and all it’s associated taboos. Not only did I learn a lot but feel like a better person after taking the class and have gained personal confidence!”

#1: (Self-Explanatory)

“Becca Brewer’s human sexuality class was the most interesting class I have taken at CCSF. If you like to learn about sexuality, gain friendships, and stay awake during a 3 hour class, this is one for you!!”


I’ve been teaching Human Sexuality since 2004, and I love every minute of making the scientific theories of human sexuality easy to learn and relevant. It would be an honor to teach you next semester.

Anyone can take this course. If you're not currently a student you can click here to register!

To enroll, use CRN 75511.

 Not sure about going to the Chinatown Campus?

Here is one fun fact that might change your mind:

The walk from Montgomery Bart to 808 Kearny Street is exactly 13 minutes (just 2 minutes longer than the walk from Balboa Park Bart to Batmale Hall on the Ocean Campus).

Posted on July 21, 2014 .

Help Becca Save Her CCSF Human Sexuality Class

What up internets? As you may know, I have been not blogging because ... well ... let's get real here. Being a sex educator is my life's purpose. It's what I've been put on this earth to do. But I haven't found a way to teach sex education and keep up with my enormous student loan debt just yet.

On that note, one of the sources from which I derive both joy and fiscal solvency presented me with the following challenge:

Teach a night course to CCSF students at a campus that isn't the main campus, where people don't usually pay for classes. (They will have to pay for yours). If you can get your enrollment to reach at least 20 by August 15th, we won't cancel the class.

Challenge Accepted

Right now, I have 7 students enrolled. I'd like to see that number jump to 10 by the end of this week. 

And by "I'd like to see" I mean, I have to see.  If you'd like to help, sharing the following blog post would be amazing!! I will be keep you posted each and every day as to whether or not this going to work.

Fingers crossed, I will get enough butts in seats to have another amazing semester at CCSF.

Thanks in advance for all your support.


Posted on July 21, 2014 .

How to Be a Part of Becca's Sex Ed Comeback Tour in 5 Simple Steps

Sex Ed Bootcamp. Circa 2009.

Sex Ed Bootcamp. Circa 2009.

As many of you may know, I haven't taught sex ed on a regular basis since before grad school. (Hella whack. I know.)

Luckily for me, the folks at City College of San Francisco just happened to be hiring Human Sexuality Instructors right around the time I planned to move back to the Bay from NYC. When I found I out they were interested, I hopped on a plane from NYC, suited up, and rocked an interview. Early this week, I was given my first teaching assignment.

In other words, this sexuality expert is officially back in the game. I'd love for you to join me on my comeback tour!

All you have to do is enroll in the Human Sexuality course I'm teaching on Thursdays from 6p - 9p!

Just complete the 5 simple steps below:

Step 1. Check yo’ schedule.

Are you free from 6-9 (heh) on Thursday nights?

Free? Move on to step 2.

Not Free? There are three other classes that still need students:

Monday/Wednesday: 1:10p - 2:25p

Tuesday/Thursday: 8:10a - 9:25a

Tuesday/Thursday: 12:40p - 1:55p

Want to take one of these three classes? Move on to step 2!


Step 2. Be a CCSF student or become a CCSF student.

If you’re already a CCSF student, skip ahead to  Step 3.

Not a student? Applying is easy!  Click here!

(And you can ignore all that stuff about orientations if you don’t plan to take more than 2 classes.)


Step 3. Contact the Department Chair, Lauren Muller, To Get Your Add Code!!

You'll need the add code to add the class, so make sure you get it before you try to register!

Lauren can be reached at, or at 415-239-3854.

Have the following info ready:

CRN, SEC, and Course Day/Time.  

For my course the CRN is 31034, SEC is 501.  Thurs, 6-9.
(For the other sections, you can look up the CRN and SEQ by clicking here!)


Step 4. Register for the class you’ve chosen using the add code.

The deadline to register is January 30th, so make sure you hop on this opportunity ASAP.

Use the CRN to find the course, and the add code to make sure you can actually register.

If you have any issues adding the course, get in touch with Lauren!


Step 5. Show up for class!

Bask in the warm glow of sexuality knowledge and legendary comebacks.

If you're not a CCSF student, but know someone who is, please forward this post to them! 

Thanks in advance for registering, spreading the word, and helping a sister out!!

Keep Thinking,

Posted on January 17, 2014 .

Fight the Stupid: Sex Education is Dangerous

Thanks for the inspiration, Rep. Steve Toth (The Woodlands).

Thanks for the inspiration, Rep. Steve Toth (The Woodlands).

I've always been confused by opposition to honest, open, and straightforward sexuality education. The communication of this opposition is often more perplexing than the opposition itself.

As a highly trained sex educator for helllllllla years, it was my mission to teach students sex ed in a way that respected the fact that they would eventually become adults living in a democratic society.

In other words, I taught them with respect for the fact that someday they would be free to make their own choices. And with the zillion choices that sexuality brings to the table, I thought the only responsible thing to do as an adult was to help them face some of those choices head-on while they were in my class.

Call me crazy for thinking that to teach sexual problem solving ... you actually have to talk about sex ... and let students solve their own riddles. (I also call that teaching young people how to handle freedom ... but that's another story for another day.)

Anyway, I could write all day long about the merits of open, honest, and straightforward sex education. But I think I'll let some former students of mine do the talking for me. In 3 short minutes, they say more than I ever could.

 Keep Thinking



Posted on July 28, 2013 and filed under Sex Education.