A couple weeks ago, I detailed one way that Yoda totally spits some wisdom to help you have great sex.  Today?  We’re going to talk about how Luke Skywalker’s journey from annoying to badass Jedi can actually teach you a lil’ something about great sex!

Alert!  I talk about characters from Star Wars Episodes IV-VI in this without explaining who they are.  If you have somehow managed to avoid watching this trilogy, you might have no idea who I’m talking about.  Also … props.  That rock must be well defended.

Confession:  I have never seen Star Wars I-III (my rock IS well defended).  The analysis you’re about to read is based solely upon watching Episodes IV-VI.  (For those of you who have no f-in clue what that means … this analysis is based on the OG Star Wars only.  I’ve never seen the ones that came out starting in 1999.)

Let’s take a look at Luke Skywalker’s Journey:

Luke Skywalker experienced a lot of loss all throughout the OG Star Wars series.

* He starts off as an “orphan” (loss of parents).
* He sees the burned up corpses of his Aunt and Uncle (loss of foster-parents).
* He sees Vader cut into a disappearing Obi-Wan (loss of mentor).
* Vader cuts off Luke’s hand (loss of hand).
* Vader drops the “Luke. I am your father,” bomb (loss of innocence).
* Yoda kicks it (loss of the only other [hella badass] Jedi Knight).
* He is led to believe he is seeing the entire rebellion getting shot out of the sky (seeming loss of everything he was working for the whole damn time).

And yet …

Luke Skywalker while living with his Aunt and Uncle on Tatooine? Whiny and Annoying.

Luke Skywalker when he goes toe to toe with Papa Vader and the Emperor? Great Jedi Warrior.

Luke Skywalker had to lose everything before he could realize his greatness. 

But of course, it wasn’t just all about loss.

It was about the way Skywalker handled the loss that really made the difference between him being a cranky, annoying farmer and a Jedi Knight.

The biggest key to his success?  Acceptance.

Rather than focusing on the loss and getting stuck in mourning over what he no longer had, Skywalker adapted and moved forward every time.  He didn't do the following:

From Dorkly.Com

So how can Luke’s loss and acceptance of loss help you have great sex?

Sometimes, you have to lose everything before you can realize your sexual greatness.

Outward Loss

His Parents, Aunt Beru and Uncle Own, His Hand, His Mentors, (Seemingly) His Friends.  With each loss (as horrific as they often were), Luke left parts of himself behind that actually impeded upon his own greatness.

Sometimes, sexual greatness can’t be achieved until you lose certain people in your life (that doesn’t necessarily mean to death, btw).  Maybe the person you lose is a partner that doesn’t ever compromise sexually.  Maybe it’s a partner that you haven’t had any sort of sex with in ages.  Maybe it’s a friend who shames you every time you discuss your desires out loud.  Perhaps it’s a family member who doesn’t approve of your sexuality.

Often times, we hold on to people in our lives because it’s what we know.  Because those people define a part of who we are.  Sometimes having people who define a part of who we are in our lives is definitely for the better (think of Luke’s relationship with Leia, Han, Chewie and the Droids).  But sometimes, loss is exactly what is needed before sexual greatness (or even just decent sex) is a possibility (Luke had to lose Owen and Beru to even get his Jedi party started).

Inward Loss 

Finding out Vader was his father, and accepting that he didn’t have innocent origins was huge in terms of Luke’s success.  It helped Luke to face his own possible darkness so that he could eventually rise above it.

Just like people in our lives can hold us back from realizing our full sexual potential, so too can our own images of ourselves. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself that you need to bang as many people as possible to have great sex … but deep down you know that you just want 1 or 2 solid partners.  Maybe you’ve been telling yourself that the best sex you’ll ever have is within a monogamous, procreative partnership, but really, you just want to have sex with lots of different people.

Sometimes, your whole idea of who you are has to crumble before you can rise up and become who you’re destined to be.


Action Steps for Great Action

1. Examine The Role of Others in Impeding Your Greatness

Who is holding you back?  Who is making you sexually miserable?  Who is shaming you for your desires?

* Make a list of these people.
* Choose 1 person from the list.
* Assess whether you think your relationship with this person can change or whether you think they will continue to be a dark influence.
* If you think that you can create a loss in the negative relationship through change, begin to negotiate change with this person.
* If you think that they will continue being a dark influence, think about ending your relationship with them.

Essentially, you’re working toward the loss of darkness within a relationship OR the loss of a dark relationship.

2. Examine Your Role In Your Greatness

How do you hold yourself back?  How do you make yourself sexually miserable?  Do you shame yourself for your desires?

* Make a list of ways that you stand in the way of your own greatness.
* Choose 1 item from your list.
* Brainstorm a list of ways that you could potentially lose the ideas or behaviors that are holding you back.
* Choose 3 items from your brainstorm and act on them.
* If possible, tell your partner or employ the help of someone in your sexual support team.

Whether you’re setting out to change your relationship with people holding you back OR changing your relationship with yourself…

Keep Thinking!