The OG Star Wars Trilogy, believe it or not, has a plethora of messages that can actually teach you to have great sex.  If I tried to detail all of them at once, we'd be here longer than Yoda.  Because I'm assuming none of you have a 900 year life-span, I'm going to instead hit you with what I've learned one at a time.  You'll get more Star Wars based great sex advice sporadically throughout the future.  Here's the first!

Alert!  I talk about characters from Star Wars Episodes IV-VI in this without explaining who they are.  If you have somehow managed to avoid watching this trilogy, you might have no idea who I’m talking about.  Also … props.  That rock must be well defended.

Confession:  I have never seen Star Wars I-III (my rock IS well defended).  The analysis you’re about to read is based solely upon watching Episodes IV-VI.  (For those of you who have no f-in clue what that means … this analysis is based on the OG Star Wars only.  I’ve never seen the ones that came out starting in 1999.)

Yoda Has Some Unwittingly Fantastic Lessons About Great Sex 

My favorite?

 “…beware the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression. …. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will….” –Yoda

Even though Yoda is talking about the dark side of the Force, he makes a great point when it comes to sex as well. If you’re using anger, fear, and aggression in order to get what you want sexually, you’re essentially making someone else feel powerless so that you can feel powerful.  And just like my boy Yoda implies, the problem with feeling powerful through emotions like these is that in order to continue to feel powerful, you have to keep making other people feel powerless.

And then you become The Emperor (and I can pretty much guarantee that no one wants to bang that guy willingly).

A picture of the emperor from Star Wars

And even though this is kind of repulsive, imagine the Emperor having sex (or Jabba the Hut, while we’re talking repulsive…).  The Emperor would necessarily have to exert power over someone to get them to have sex with him, and whoever he chose would not enjoy it.

Sex like that is just as whack as the Dark Side.

So, how will you know when you’ve reached levels of sexual greatness equal to that of a Jedi Warrior who reps the light side of the Force?

“You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive.” – Yoda

Great sex is all about agreement.  It’s that moment where you look at your partner, they look at you, and you both go, “Wow.  That was great.”  Even if every single detail of the sexual experience wasn’t perfect, you and your partner just know that what did go down was incredible.  Being calm means that you don’t feel any anxiety about what happened, being at peace means that there is a sense of equilibrium, and being passive means that you can just revel in the greatness (without any nagging sense that you need to brush up on your Great Sex Fundamentals).

Although calm, peace, and passivity are there to give your great sex moment a great foundational base, that doesn’t mean that great sex is always followed by a zen-looking moment.  So don’t feel like your hi-fives, victory dances, or “Round Twos” are out of order.  It’s just that without Yoda’s trifecta of emotions in both you and your partner, that victory cabbage patch you’re doing might be unfounded.

Becca doing the cabbage patch.

So what can you do to avoid becoming the Emperor doing the cabbage patch?

Action Steps for Great Action

Getting that “OMG. That was awesome,” moment often starts with asking for what you want.  Here are three suggestions to help you land on the light side of the [sexual] Force:

A) Thinking about doing something really new? 

Schedule a time to talk to your partner about your new idea before you’re both already in the heat of the moment.

Example: You send a DM via twitter that says, “Thinkin bout u and sumthin’ hot to try. Talk over dinner?”

(Or you can try strategy B) or C) if you think your partner would respond better.)


B) Making A Small Adjustment to An Old Classic?

Using a question that only requires a short answer, ask your partner about the small adjustment during sex.

Example: Would you like it if I went faster?  It would be really hot if you put your leg on my shoulder, you down?

(Or, you can try strategy A) or C) if you think it’s a better idea.)


C) Thinking about doing something that’s a mixture of new and old?

Maintain some level of surprise by giving your partner the heads up about something new.

Example: I’ve been thinking about a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ to do with you tonight … you up for a really fun surprise?

(Or, you can also try strategy A) or B).  Gauge your partner and how you think they’ll respond to the activity.)


If you’re still thinking of a post-coital Emperor doing the cabbage patch, I’m sorry about that.

I truly hope you can move forward and start thinking about zen hi-fives of sexual greatness!

Keep Thinking!