If you didn’t watch the NFC Championship game on Sunday, let me just say that it was one hell of a game.  It was a defensive battle where, unfortunately, the 49ers ended up beating themselves.

NFC Championship Trophy Copyright 2012 @joemontanasrightarm.com

Because I am chillin’ here in the bay, I imagine that my Monday is going to be filled with a lot of despondent Niners fans.  Because I want to cheer you up, I’ve found a silver lining.

In classic SmartHotFun.Com style, this post is going to be all about how the Niners loss can actually help you to have great sex!

Lesson #1: Sound fundamentals are clutch when it comes to achieving greatness.

Okay, so first!  Props where props are due.  The 49ers defense is fucking scary.  After getting hit 12 times (6 of those were sacks), Eli Manning looked like he got run over by a couple 18-wheelers.  Dirtiest. Uniform. Ever.

Despite this crazily intimidating defense, the 49ers didn’t pull out the victory in the NFC Championship.  Why?  Two costly turnovers by Kyle Williams (oh, I’ll get there in a second, just you wait) … and …

3rd Down Conversions.

The Niners were 1 for 13 on 3rd down conversions on Sunday.  One.  That’s it.  And unlike Williams’ turnovers, the lack of the conversions weren’t as a result of a bad day.  At a whopping 29%, the Niners were the second worst team in the entire NFL at converting 3rd downs in the regular season.  In the postseason?  They were the absolute worst, clocking in at 18%, a whole 11% lower than the second worst team.

Football is a game that depends on moving the ball forward, and despite all the passion and grit the 49ers brought to the game on Sunday, the magic wasn't enough to make up for a fundamental skill the team lacked all season. I mean, imagine the outcome of that game, Williams’ turnovers and all, had Jim Harbaugh placed more emphasis on helping his team to execute more efficiently on 3rd downs during the regular season.

Here’s the part where we talk about sex! 

Luck, passion, drive, ‘x-factors,’ and the like can all be incredible assets when you’re on a journey toward sexual greatness.   These elements are what make the journey exciting and make your sexual greatness story compelling.

But without well-rounded fundamentals, these elements can only take you so far.  Sexual greatness, much like football greatness, definitely increases when your fundamentals are on lock.  If you take the time and put in the effort to figure out how to make your fundamentals sound, your overall game will definitely improve as a result. Instead of relying on the x-factor to get you through, you can use the power of the intangible to catapult your sexual game to new heights.

How do you go about figuring out which fundamentals aren't rock solid?  We’ll get there, but first I have to talk about the lesson we can learn from Kyle Williams.

Lesson #2: Sometimes life hands you uncontrollable circumstances that are going to interfere with your sexual greatness.

Kyle Williams was filling in for the Niners regular punt-returner, and that man had a terrible day.  His first off-the-knee "fumble" that eventually turned into 7 points for the Giants was a tough break.  Not protecting the ball and allowing it to be stripped during a punt return in OT … we’ll call that one a ‘rookie’ mistake since Williams was filling in.

The Niners regular punt returner was injured.  There’s nothing the Niners could have done to change that circumstance.  To compensate, they threw Williams in there.  I’m sure that the coaching staff had compelling reasons for making that call.  Williams, once in, had a rough game where his inexperience made a difference.  And although I’m sure they wish they could, the coaching staff couldn’t predict how Williams' inexperience would end up being extremely costly.


Prepping, planning, practicing, and making informed, thoughtful decisions when you’re trying to increase your instances of great sex are all really good strategies.  However, there are inevitably going to be some days where, despite all your effort and hard work, circumstances that are outside of your control can totally get in the way of great sex.

Sometimes those circumstances are immediate and it’s easy to see how they served as barriers to great sex.  Williams’ couldn’t control how the ball bounced, it hit his knee, and his inexperience stood in the way of 49er greatness.  You can’t control your toddler’s ability to pick locks, and despite you locking the door, they walk in on you right before your big great sexual moment has gone down.

Other times, these circumstances have been indirectly set in motion before the actual interference happens.  Williams’ couldn’t control the fact that the Niners’ regular punt-returner was injured.  You may not be able to control the fact that the food you ordered at the restaurant is going to make for some serious mood-killing gastrointestinal pyrotechnics during a sexual session planned for later that night.

So, how can Williams’ bad day and the Niners’ inability to make 3rd down conversions help you have better sex?

Check it!

Action Steps for Great Action 

1. Think about some sexual moments where you fell short of achieving greatness.

2. Write down any reasons why those moments weren’t great.

3. Divide your list into ‘controllable’ circumstances, and ‘uncontrollable’ circumstances.

4. Choose 1 item off of your ‘controllable’ list.

5. Create a game-plan to a) build up a fundamental that you can rely on when circumstances get crazy and/or b) avoid having that circumstance pop up in the first place.

Example:  After brainstorming for a while, your unsorted list says, “Cell phone ringing, thinking about work, getting tired before orgasm, too full, baseball flying through window.”

After you sort your list, you choose ‘getting tired before orgasm.’  You decide to beef up your pleasure physiology knowledge in order to make the pleasuring that you’re doing more efficient AND effective.  You also decide to talk to you partner about the possibility of having sex before 9p.

To all my Niners fans.  I’m not sure that this post actually made you feel better about the loss, but I do hope that it makes you feel better about your chances to have great sex!

Keep Thinking!