First!  I hope that everyone is having a fantastic season of generosity!  In the name of the season, I’m still trying to see SmartHotFun.Com grow, AND I’m trying to pass the generosity forward!

Today, I’d like to focus on getting ‘Likes’ on facebook!  I’d like to get to 125 before the new year!  All you have to do is click here to like SmartHotFun.Com on Facebook!  It’ll take like 5 seconds to complete and your click is worth 5 cents to a great organization that empowers youth.

With that out of the way, I have an X-mas tale to share with you all!

In the name of the season, me, my BFF, and our trombones took a trip to Union Square to play some X-mas (and Hanukkah!) carols.

Trombonist in a Santa Hat.

Although we played those horns almost every day as undergrads in the University of California Marching Band (the best damn band in the land!), neither of us had played for more than 5 minutes in over a year.

But, because we’re both so amazing, it was perfect!  We sounded great, we were hitting all the notes, and the crowds of people doing their last minute x-mas shopping stopped punching each other over shoes for one glorious moment just to listen.

Wait … that’s not what happened at all.

What did happen is that after 1 year of not playing, we sucked.

I couldn’t hit the high notes required to carry the melody, he couldn’t wrap his mind around the rhythms needed to make the harmonies sound fantastic.

One dude sat behind us and laughed at our struggles, a guy in an open-air tour bus told us that we’d be better in an hour, and a homeless looking guy put a $5 bill in our hat out of pity.

Undaunted, we moved spots, and tried again.

The second time was better. 

The trombone is a really physical instrument, and my body was starting to remember how to play.  My arms were moving more fluidly into the positions, and my mouth was starting to remember how to move in order to hit high notes.

But we had moved to a bad spot.  We were impaling people on our slides, and in direct competition with a dude trying to push his demo.  We were starting to sound better, but the environment wasn’t right.

So, we moved one more time.  We ended up right across from the huge X-mas Tree in the middle of the square, and right next to the huge Menorah.

Union Square X-Mas Tree.

In honor of our spot, we opened with “The Dreidel Song” and everything locked into place.

Even though we were not playing at a level of perfection by any means, I was finally warmed up and could hit the high notes required to send lilting melodies like “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” and “Jesu, Joy Of Man’s Desiring” into the square.  Playing finally started to feel fun, and not embarrassing.

People whose kids were learning Trombone took pictures with us, small children dazzled at our skill, and I like to think that we spread some good old-fashioned holiday cheer.

We played through the songs in our repertoire about three times, and then our chops (mouth muscles!) started to die.  We chose “Silent Night,” “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” and “Carol of the Bells” as our grand finale.  Satisfied with our impromptu concert, we hopped on Muni and headed home.

So, what does this charming tale have to do with great sex?

Just Like Playing Trombone, Sex is  A Physical Activity

If you haven’t had sex in a while, or even if you’re just trying something you haven’t done in a while, it can take some time before your body remembers how to move effectively.  At first, what you’re trying out might be awkward or downright awful, and that’s totally normal.

Just like it took a while for my BFF and I to remember how to ‘bone, it can take a while before your body remembers how to bone.  So, when you’re trying to move from awkward to great:

Perseverance is Key

My BFF and my ‘boning success relied strictly upon not giving up.  The same holds true for great sex.  If you’re shaking off some cobwebs and don’t perform the way you did in your memory, you have to keep trying.  The brain is a pretty amazing organ, and if you keep trying, eventually your brain will remember what messages it needs to send in order to get your body to move the way you remember.  (And even if your brain doesn’t remember, it’ll make some stuff up to fill in the gaps!)

Because 'boning is a little different than boning, you might not be able to try again in the same session, but you can:

Try Again in a Different Environment

Part of our Trombone Caroling success was being willing to admit that we weren’t in the right spot.  Despite the fact that we were starting to sound good in that second spot, the spot itself was getting in the way of experiencing success.

Maybe when you’re banging it out, your body is doing just fine … but you’re not doing it with the right person.  Maybe the person you’re boning down with is the right person, but you tried your moves out in the kitchen when you should’ve been on the desk in your home office.  Try practicing your bomb boning moves in a different space or with a different partner (if legit, of course) and see if that helps your success rate!

Macy's X-Mas Display

Once your muscle memory has returned and you’ve found the right environment, there is just one last lesson you can take from our ‘boning adventures:

Walk Away When You Need To. 

Even though we experienced some serious ‘boning success, there was a certain point where the quality of our playing started to decrease due to fatigue.   After a while, the high notes that had started to sound good … started to sound really bad (or I couldn’t play them at all).

The same thing can happen when you’re trying to get back into a sex groove.  After shaking off all those cobwebs, you might be so stoked about your success that you want to keep going!  But, just like fatigue can set in while ‘boning, fatigue can also set in during sex.  Pay attention to your body while you’re banging it out.  Push yourself to the limit, but tap out when you need to in order to avoid ending on a cracked or missed note.

Because remember, you can always try again!

Action Steps for Great Action…. 

Are going to happen tomorrow.  As I write this, it is X-Mas morning, and I need to walk away so I can chill with my family.

Keep Thinking!