I recently came across a blog post written in 2009 about a 175 Pound, 5’11” model named Lizzie Miller.  Featured in this article at the age of 20, she *gasp* has a body shape that includes body fat.

Today I want to discuss how great sex is like Lizzie Miller’s tummy.

When Lizzie Miller let it all hang out and showed the world her body straight-up-with-no-chaser, she changed something for a lot of people.

What did she change?

First We Have to Start with the Beauty Ideal 

Widening of Barbie's waist.

There’s this beauty ideal that has been created by years of only having certain women with certain bodies featured in media.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Close your eyes (after you’re done this reading this paragraph).  Imagine the women that you see on TV, in movies, and in magazines.  Now, imagine just the women who are portrayed as beautiful/hot/sexy etc.  What do their bodies look like?

I don’t know about you, but I imagine a fat-free woman.  She kinda has the shape of a 12 year old boy, minus her C-cup boobs.  Those are pretty curvaceous.

Now, a woman with the body shape of a 12-year-old boy with boobs can be incredibly sexy.  The issue is not that this body type isn't beautiful, it's that it's the only one that's ever portrayed as beautiful.  And it's an issue that many of the women who are supposedly beautiful in this way only get there through massive computer editing.

Lizzie Miller is Sexy and She Knows It

Even though Lizzie Miller doesn’t even come close to the 12-year-old-boy-with-boobs body type, she’s pretty damn hot.  And when she manned-up, stripped-down, and showed the world her body, she changed the game.

She might not have changed the way magazines go about retouching photos, or the way that movies/TV shows cast for ‘sexy.’  Based on some of the comments to the article I linked to above, she did change the game for some women’s perception of beauty.  Women who might just feel sexier because of seeing Lizzie Miller’s tummy.

Lizzie Miller and her adorable abdomen achieved some serious greatness by showing that having a great body doesn’t mean having a body that is perfect by idealized standards.

How can this help you to have great sex?

Just like people pick up ideas about beauty from the world around them, I imagine you may have picked up ideas about great sex from the world around you.  It’s possible that you have a whole idea of what ‘perfect’ sex will look/smell/feel/be like.  You know every detail from the scenario to the partner to the location to the even the time it goes down.

You can have great sex by constantly trying to achieve this idea of perfection.  But, what you’ll probably find is that perfection every time you have sex is pretty damn impossible.  And when perfection is a benchmark that you consistently miss, it can totally bust up your great sex mojo.

So you can create a vision of perfection and constantly feel insecure about how you rarely achieve that vision, OR you can take a lesson from Lizzie Miller.

Great sex, just like Lizzie Miller’s great body, does not require perfection. 

Action Steps for Great Action

Compliment your sexual partner about an imperfection.

Think about something you love about your partner’s body or something you really like that your partner does sexually that doesn’t fit into the mold of idealized perfection.   Tell them that their imperfection is incredibly sexy.

Example: Your partner’s eyes roll into the back of their head when they get really turned on.  They’ve expressed how it embarrasses them, but you love it because it’s a good sign that all your hard work is being appreciated.  You compliment them by saying something like, “Hey.  You know when your eyes roll into the back of your head during sex?  It’s the hottest thing ever because it lets me know that you’re experiencing some serious pleasure.  It turns me on like no other.”

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