If you haven’t heard about or seen Vibram Five Fingers, let me quickly introduce you the concept.

Picture of a Vibram on a Rock.

Vibrams are those crazy shoes with toes that make your feet look they belong to a ninja gorilla.

Now that you know what a Vibram is, let’s get to how they relate to sex! 

Conventional athletic shoes work from what I'm going to call a ‘comfort by shoe design’ premise.  The shoe company comes up with a design and says, “Hey, this will probably work for everyone, buy our shoe.”  The idea is that your feet will feel great once you plop them in this shoe.   They’re often developed from a scientific perspective, but one steeped in conventional wisdom.

Vibrams (created from science that is fairly separate from conventional wisdom) are little more than a well-engineered piece of rubber slapped on the sole of your feet to protect your feet from random pokey things on the ground.  As a result, the comfort you experience comes from your feet, not from the shoe design.  Instead of forcing your feet to conform to shoes, Vibrams enable you to figure out how your unique foot design can best propel you through the world.

Because the focus is on helping the individual to figure out their own feet, many folks (except for those with webbed toes) totally dig how comfortable the Vibram is.  Some folks have even reported a reversal in body pains (especially knee pains), an increase in strength and balance, and an overall greater drive to get out and move!

Just like conventional shoes, there are lots of sex philosophies out there that say, “Hey, this is the one path you can take to have great sex, you should do this!”   The idea being that you just plug your sex life into a formula and it’ll be great!  The philosophies come from a mixture of history and conventional wisdom about sex (examples of conventional sex wisdom: sex should only be for making babies, sex should only happen between two people in love, sex should be only for heteros, sex can only be fulfilling if you’re 18 years or older … etc. etc), but often leave little room for individuality.

Just like the 1 shoe design to fit them all doesn’t work for all people’s feet, the 1 great sex design to fit them all also doesn’t work for all people’s sex lives.

So wait, how is great sex like Vibrams, then?

1.  Reconnecting Your Brain with Your Body

Vibrams reconnect your brain to how your body wants to walk, and allows for your own unique foot physiology to get you there.  Having great sex means figuring out how you really want to have sex, and allowing for your own unique sexual desires to get you there.  Plopping your sex life into a pre-made philosophy does work for some, but for most, it actually stands in the way of great sex because it leads to emotions like guilt, doubt, or questions of normalcy.  Just like wearing Vibrams can help knee pain to dissolve by working with your body, reconnecting your brain to your true desires can help to dissolve some of the negative emotions that get in the way of having great sex.

2.  The Trade-Off

In the beginning, wearing Vibrams can be awkward and even a little painful.  You have to ease into wearing them regularly, and re-train your body to walk.  Once you do this, you begin to realize how disconnected from the world conventional shoes make you feel.  Conventional shoes begin to feel awkward, big, and clunky, and you realize how grateful you are to have transitioned to something much more streamlined.

At first, figuring out how to incorporate desires into your sex life can be awkward and sometimes even a little painful.   You may have to completely retrain your partner, or you may find that you and your partner aren’t compatible when you finally do own your desire.  But, as you move further and further toward getting what you want sexually, you look back and realize how disconnected you were from your own unique desires.  You may even realize that, despite the initial trade-off, you appreciate how streamlined your sex life has become.

3.  More Desire

On a personal note, wearing Vibrams has made me much more physically adventurous.  Because I feel amazing when I move, I feel like I can do more.  Because I can feel the world through my feet, I want to put them everywhere.  I want to hike up mountains, and run across fields, break out into impromptu sprints, and climb every tree whose lower limbs are in my reach.

Becca Biking in her Vibrams.

When you learn how to rock your own unique sexual swagger, there’s a good chance you’re going to want more of it.  And when a 1-size-fits-all philosophy doesn't get in the way of you feeling good about what you want, you might just find yourself curious about what other sexual adventures you can have.

So, whether you’re about to go out and buy some Vibrams, or whether you’re starting to think it’s time to apply the Vibram philosophy to your sex life … let’s talk:

Action Steps for Great Action

1. Examine the Philosophy You Follow for Sex

If there is a certain set of rules you’ve been following when it comes to sex, ask yourself if it really allows you to express your sexual desires in a genuine way.

If the answer is yes, then you’re all good!

If the answer is no, examine the possibility of altering, changing, or completely rejecting that philosophy so that you CAN work with your own unique sexual desires.

2. Get Uncomfortable

Ask to do something sexual that you’ve never asked to do before.  Say no to something you don’t enjoy doing.  Send a message to your partner asking them to learn more about a desire you have.  Ask your partner if there’s anything they’ve been wanting to do but have been too scared to ask for.

My plan?  To ask a future partner to let me sex them up with my Vibrams on.

Keep Thinking!