Sex and sleep actually have a lot of similarities.  For example, sex and sleep are experiences that all people will have at some point in their lives.  (Yes, even some asexual peeps out there will have sex!)  Sex and sleep are great for relieving/preventing stress.  Sex and sleep are something that can be done alone or with a partner.   Sex and sleep are a normal, natural part of being human.

Sex and Sleep are also something that people can make strategies to improve!

So, today, we’re going to look at how strategies to improve sleep can cross over to become strategies that can improve sex!

#1 Get More Sleep by Making Time.

I don’t care if you’re starting to live like a caveman, make passive income online, or simply looking to improve your quality of life.  It seems like everywhere you look, experts are telling you to get 6-8 solid hours a night to help with stress, decision making, and overall well being.  But dedicating 6-8 hours of one’s day to sleeping can be challenging.  Maybe you have kids, maybe you looooove a TV show that comes on really late at night, or maybe you stay up until 12a staring at your computer screen, wishing that you didn’t have the fattest writer’s block of your life.

One of the strategies recommended to help people get more sleep is to put sleep into one’s schedule.  I like to think of this as “Adult bedtime.”  Scheduling sleep makes sleeping a priority over everything else you might be doing at night, and ensures that you schedule the rest of your day around making that 6-8 hour sleep quota.

Want more sex?  Make time for it.

Living in our current Ameriparadigm around sex, I feel like there is this idea that sex is always supposed to be this spontaneously amazing thing.  You’re not supposed to talk about when you’re going to have it.  You and your partner (or just you) suddenly know when it’s “time.”  I feel like because of this particular Ameriparadigm, there are lots of peeps out there who wish they were having more sex.

But, just like sleep, if you want more sex, sometimes you have to consciously make time for it.  How do you do this?  Glad you asked.

Action Steps for Great Action

Want more time for sex?

  1. Make a sex appointment.
    Schedule out some time in your week to have some sex (either with yourself or with a partner), and put it into the system that you use for scheduling the rest of your life.  If you need to, you can use a euphemism so that no one else knows that this particular appointment is for sex

    Treat the appointment like you would any other appointment.  Don’t break it for anything else unless you absolutely have to.

Want to keep your spontaneity factor high, despite the scheduling?

  1. Schedule the time, but don't plan the event.
    Although I am a fan of the sex plan, you can make a sex appointment without planning what you'll be doing.  This means that even though you know when you’ll be having sex, the ‘what happens’ will still be wide open.

#2 Get Higher Quality Sleep by Removing Distractions

Getting more sleep is not the only way that experts tell you to improve your sleep status.  They also encourage you to sleep better.  Suggestions? Get a screen dimmer so that your laptop doesn’t trick your body into thinking it’s earlier than it is.  Don’t do work in the place where you sleep.  Turn your cell phone off.  Read, meditate, do chill yoga, etc. to help you fall asleep quickly.

There are lots of great ways to improve quality of sleep and many of them involve removing distractions from your sleep equation.

If you’ve been keeping up with WWW Wednesdays, you know that a distracted brain can decrease the quality of sex that you’re having.  So just like you can improve sleep by removing distractions, you can improve sex by removing distractions as well.


Action Steps for Great Action

  1. Make a Sex Appointment.
    Wait, wtf?  Didn’t I just suggest this?  Yes.  Yes I did.  But I’m going to put it here as well because making a sex appointment, prioritizing it, and treating it like an important part of your day is a way to remove distractions and make sex better.  If you’ve made an appointment for sex, your brain knows that the time you’re spending hunkering down to get down is legit.  Instead of thinking about how you should be working or writing a paper or playing with your kids, your brain is like, “Naw, son, this is sex time.  We’re cool to just enjoy this moment without freaking out about all the other shit we’ve gotta do.”

  2. Make an Effort to Remove Distractions
    Close your laptop, put the cell on vibrate, put the work shit away, put your kid down for a nap, kennel your pets, lock your door, close your blinds, and ask the noisy peeps waiting for the bus at the bus stop outside your room to stop talking for the duration of your appointment.

    Again, when you remove distractions and let yourself get lost in the sexy sexy moment, the quality of what you’re experiencing is going to be much higher.

3) Orgasms can help with sleep.

Orgasms can totalllly help you sleep!  The hormones that your brain releases when you have an orgasm can make you naturally sleepy.  So orgasms can definitely help with getting better, higher quality sleep.

Picture of a guy sleeping in a car.

So where’s the sex strategy here?

Sleep can help with orgasms.

Ha!  One thing that can get in the way of having great sex is tiredness.  Sex is something that happens in your body.  If your body and brain are tired, then that might just take physical/mental priority over the sex you’re having.

Action Steps for Great Action

  1. If you’re having trouble sleeping, try rubbing one out (aka masturbating) or having sex (or both).

  2. If you’re having sex and/or masturbating and just too tired to engage, sleep first, then sex/masturbate it up!

I hope that you’ve already filled your Google calendar/outlook/iCal with several sex AND sleep appointments!!

Keep Thinking!