My apologies for the lateness of this post.

I spent the weekend roadtripping to Los Angeles to see Zach Maynard embarrass himself by throwing 5 picks against fUCLA.

But let’s talk about happier things. Like comparing sex to sports!

Today I'm going to talk about how knowing the rules of the game can help you to achieve sexual greatness!

We’ll start with looking at sports rules. When I think of sports rules, I always think about the fact that there are official rules, and then there are unwritten rules. I will break these two down first to let you know what I’m talking about:

The Official Rule Book
These are the “written” rules. Whether or not everyone playing the game understands all of these rules, they are the ones that everyone agrees to abide by when playing any sport. These rules (basically) stay the same over time.

  1. Official rules set the stage for game-play.

    • Example: It’s the goal of a football offense to get the ball into the endzone. It’s the defense’s job to stop that from happening. However, the defense isn’t allowed to injure other players to get that done, which makes football a violent, but (mostly) not deadly game.

  2. Official rules aren’t personal.

    • Example: When the ref calls a facemask penalty on a defensive player, it’s not because the ref doesn’t like that guy. The facemask rule and subsequent penalty applies to every team in the league. It’s there in order to minimize injury and neck-snapping related death.

  3.  Official rules take precedent over any other rules.

Unwritten Rules
These are the rules that aren’t put down in the rule book, but are nonetheless important to a great game! These rules are much more flexible than the official rules and change depending on the situation.

  1. Some unwritten rules are universally understood.

    • Example: Good quarterbacks shouldn’t throw interceptions.

  2. Unwritten rules are personal and will vary from team to team, player to player, and even season to season.

    • Example: In the 2011 season, Cal football should keep the ball on the ground in pressure situations because there is a good chance that Maynard will throw directly to the other team.

  3. Unwritten rules have to work within the written official rules. Picture of Becca and her car.

    • Example: Because Coach Tedford doesn’t follow Becca’s play calling, it’s a pressure situation and Cal is about to run a pass play. Even though the offensive line knows that Maynard will need about 15 minutes in the pocket to complete a pass, they know that they’ll incur a penalty if they hold to make that happen. So they have to figure out how to compensate for the breach of the unwritten rule (Maynard shouldn’t pass in pressure situations) while still upholding a rule from the official rule book (holding results in a 5 yard penalty).

Ready to talk about sex?
Good, because lord knows I’d rather talk about sex than keep thinking about Cal’s quarterback situation.

Just like sports, sex has a rule-book. And, just like sports, there is an official rule-book and an unwritten rule-book.

The Official Sex Rule Book
These are the “written” rules. Because living in America means shitty sex education and cultural taboos when it comes to talking about sex … many people don’t have a clear understanding of this rule book. That being said, the official rule-book is still there and whether or not we understand it, we end up abiding by the rules when we have sex.

  1. Official sex rules set the stage for game-play.

    •  Example: Your brain is your most powerful sex organ, your blood flow redirects to all your e-zones when you’re turned on, and the clitoris has the highest density of nerve endings in the body. It’s these elements that make sex feel sooooooo good.

  2. Official sex rules aren’t personal.

    • Example: It’s not personal that the head of the penis is the most sensitive part of that organ. It’s not personal that the anus doesn’t lubricate and the vagina does. These “rules” at some point in human evolution evolved to be the way they are, and as humans, we’re all affected.

  3. Official rules take precedent over any other rules.

Unwritten Sex Rules
These are the sex rules that aren't set but are still really important to great sex!!

  1. Some unwritten rules are universally understood.

    • Example: When someone says yes after you ask to put your penis or fingers into them, the ‘yes’ only counts for consent that one time. You need to ask again the next time you do it unless otherwise negotiated.

  2. Unwritten sex rules are personal and will vary from person to person.

    1. Example: Person T will only let you put your fingers/penis into orifice X if you agree to jam them in there with gusto.

  3. Unwritten sex rules have to work within the written official rules.

    • Example: You’re about to put your fingers/penis into Person T, but because person T isn’t really turned on yet, orifice X is still dry and uninviting. In order to abide by the unwritten rule (jam that digit in there!), you also have to figure out how to abide by the official sex rule book first (pleasuring an orifice is much more effective when that orifice is lubricated).

Great sports and great sex happen when players/sexers understand how to make the unwritten rules work within the official rules.

How can you use this information to help you create great sex strategies? Here are three suggestions:

Action Steps for Great Action

  1. Figure out the Official Rules
    Pick 1 or 2 E-Zones that interest you and do some research to figure out what happens to that e-zone when it gets turned on. You can do this by scouring the internet OR you can read the posts that have already been written on Want!Will…Won’t. Wednesdays here at SmartHotFun.Com.

    • Example: You choose the Vulva. In order to learn more, you click to the WWW Wednesday post about Vulvas/Vaginas. You learn that vulvas dig dexterity and vaginas dig motion and fullness. You make a game-plan to add some more dextrous play to your vulva pleasuring.

  2.  Figure Out Your Unwritten Rules
    Pick 1 or 2 E-zones that interest you and think about any special rules that apply to you. Either write them down for the future, or discuss them with a partner.

    • Example: You choose the Penis. Even though you know that stroking the shaft is generally a good way to get a penis going, you also know that someone dancing their fingers across your shaft like they’re typing is a sure fire way to get your blood pumping.

  3. Implement your Learning!

    1. If you researched an official rule, talk to your partner about what you learned. Ask if they have any unwritten rules related to that official rule.

      • Example: You learned that Vulvas dig dexterity. You tell your partner about it, and they let you know that they dig when you buzz your lips against their vulva, but they don’t like when you tug on their inner labia.

    2. If you figured out an unwritten rule, demonstrate or talk to your partner about that rule.

      • Example: You make or find a video of the typing movement that turns you on. You show it to your partner to show them what you’re talking about.

There it is! Here’s to figuring out the rules of the game AND figuring out your own personal sexy rulebook.

Go Bears?

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