I am continuing to break down Great Sex Fundamental 3: Love As You Will.

So far, this fundamental is about owning your desires and using consent to set yourself up for sexual greatness.

The next part of this fundamental?

This one is very simple

GSF 3.3: Defining Greatness is Up to You

I’ve been talking about sexual greatness for many months now, and I bet that at least one person, at one point has been like …

“But how do you measure greatness when it comes to sex?”

Although I wish I could quantify it and be like, “You know you’re having great sex when you’re banging it out 5 days a week, both you and your partner are cumming, and you’ve rocked 65 things off of a Want!Will…Won’t Chart.” … doing so would be really irresponsible.

Although that could spell greatness for one person, it could be the definition of really awful sex for another.

Because I don’t spend my days watching you bang it out (believe it or not), there’s no way for me to define what “great sex” means for you.


And because I can’t define greatness for you, I’m going to get straight to helping you define great sex for yourself!

Action Steps for Great Action

1. Think about the type of sex you’re having.

Are you in a casual dalliance? A long-term partnership? A short-term, but emotionally intense bang-buddy situation?  Are you rocking a one-nighter?

Being realistic about what you can actually achieve or what can actually go down depending on your relationship type can help you to really hone-down what a great sexual experience might look like.

For example: Having an orgasm might be a realistic assessment of what makes for greatness in a one-night stand.  Having deeply emotionally connected sex might also make for greatness in a one-night stand, but is more likely to be achieved when you have time to create an emotional connection in a longer-term relationship.

2. Think About Great Sex You’ve Had In the Past

Break down why that sex was great based on elements like:

A. Partner

B. Ambience

C. Life Phase

D. Activity

E. Events Leading Up to the Sexual Moment

F. Events Happening After the Sexual Moment

G. Prep Work

Although sex is one of those things that you can’t often recreate, you can look at your great sexual moments to see if there are any trends or common themes.  Armed with these common themes, you can come up some general ideas about when/where you’re most likely to achieve greatness.

3. You Don’t Need a Definition to Achieve Greatness

I know I just provided two ways to help you pinpoint your definition of sexual greatness.  I do think that pinning down elements of sexual greatness can be really helpful in that doing so can give you a goal to strive toward.

However, it is also entirely possible that while you’re on the path to reaching the levels of sexual greatness you defined, you can have an experience or sexual moment that completely blindsides you.

Maybe on the path to greatness, you find greatness early.  Maybe on the path to greatness, you realize something you didn’t know and it changes your whole trajectory.

Or maybe you built up your knowledge and skills, and greatness ends up finding you.

In the end, it's still up to you to say, "That was great!" or "That wasn't so great..."

Greatness

So whether you’re laying down a concrete definition of sexual greatness or you’re letting your own personal definition of sexual greatness find you…

Go Get Some!
-Becca

Comment