This post is hella late. For that I apologize (and I blame Tyenol nighttime cold medicine. That stuff makes me sleep for like 15 hours at a time).

With that apology out of the way, let’s talk about what great sex fundamentals you already know (if you’ve been reading):

Great Sex Fundamental 1: Know the Sexual Body
AND
Great Sex Fundamental 2: Sex is A Skill
AND
GSF 2.1: Great Sex Means Building Physical, Mental, and Interpersonal Skills
AND
GSF 2.2: Great Sex Means Taking Risks

So today, you’re going to learn about:

GSF 2.3: Great Sex Means Accepting the Inevitable Epic Sex Fail.

Great sex requires taking risks.  In my last post, I talked all about the positive side of risk taking!  It would be irresponsible of me to pretend like risk taking always works out.  Because the truth of the matter is that when you're taking risks, achieving greatness is just as likely as experiencing an epic fail.

Wait, wait, wait, back it up. What does Epic Fail even mean?

Okay, for those of you who aren’t internet street-term aficionados, I know that the phrase “epic fail” might not make a whole lot of sense. So let’s break it down. Urban dictionary defines an epic fail as:

“Complete and total failure when success should have been reasonably easy to attain.”

Epic Fail in orange, black, and white.

Based on that definition, the Epic Sex Fail moment is when, despite your best efforts, the sex that you have ends up being a complete and total failure.

Even though you read every blog post on the activity and watched every video and did every prep exercise possible to prepare you for that sexy moment … your sexy moment doesn’t go well. Even though you and your partner negotiated everything you needed to negotiate … the sex you have sucks. Even though it was the right time, in the right place, with the right person … it just ended horribly. Even though you thought you were going to do something pretty simple and straightforward … the sex you have is epically bad.

The thought of an Epic Sex Fail can be scary for many reasons.

Epic sex fails can mean that you have to deal with yucky emotions. Epic sex fails can mean that you hated something your partner was really excited about doing (or vice versa) and then you have to figure out how to manage that aftermath. Epic sex fails can make you feel like you don’t have what it takes to please your partner in the way that they need. Epic sex fails can make you feel bad for making your partner try something they didn’t like. Epic sex fails can mean that a fantasy you’ve had for years isn’t really as hot as you thought it would be in real life.

Picture of a depressed dude on a bench.

That list could go on, but SmartHotFun.Com is all about finding the positive and helpful elements of sex – even when the result of sexing it up is an epic sex fail!

Epic Sex Fails can mean a lot of bad stuff, but they can also be some of the greatest learning experiences you have on the way to great sex.

An epic sex fail can lead you to understand your own and your partner’s desires better. Epic sex fails can lead to straight-up hilarious moments that you laugh about for years to come. Epic sex fails can free you from a desire that’s been consuming your thoughts. Epic sex fails can free you from a desire that’s been consuming your partner’s thoughts. Epic sex fails may shut down one sexual arena, but you might learn something that can help you in other sexual arenas. Epic sex fails can make you more resolved to be more prepared in the future so that you can try again!

Epic sex fails happen. But experiencing an epic sex fail does not make YOU a sexual failure.

I’ma say that again in another way to nail it home because it’s important.

If you allow your epic fail mean that you’re not a good lover, and you’ll never have great sex, then that’s how it’s going to be and that’s who you’re going to be.

If you look at your epic fail, learn from it, modify your approach to sex because of it, and don’t let it get you down… you’re going to achieve greatness!

So if you go in there with GSF 2.3: Great Sex Means Accepting the Inevitable Epic Sex Fail, in your head, you're ahead of the curve.  Accepting that you could fail makes the epic sex fail easier to swallow, and easier to bounce back from.  And bouncing back is important when you're on your journey toward having great sex.

Action Steps for Great Action
Follow SmartHotFun on Twitter for a brief action step.
AND/OR
Like SmartHotFun.Com on Facebook for a more thorough action step.

And … even if it means there’s chance you might experience an epic sex fail…

Go Get Some!
-Becca

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