Picture of the rectum.Hello all you smart, hot, fun folks out there reading.  Today we are going to discuss two of the body’s most democratic organs – the Anus and Rectum.  (Get it?  They're democratic because everybody has them!)

So let’s just jump right in there!

In terms of pleasure physiology, the anus likes dexterous sensation, while the rectum likes pressure, motion and fullness.   They're similar enough to the vulva/vagina where if you’d like more info, you can check out that post.

Because those two are so similar, today’s fundamental is about how a beginner to anal play can maximize pleasure the first time they play with an anus/rectum!

Great Sex Fundamental #5:  If you’re new to anus and rectum play … go slow, start small, communicate, use lube, and rock a flared base! 

Fundamental #5, Part 1: Go Slow

Check it.  Your anus has two sphincters.  One is external and can totally be consciously controlled.  This means that if you think about it, you can totally make your cornhole contract and relax.

I’ll give you a moment to try.

Did it work?  Good!  You’ve now discovered the outer sphincter.

You also have an inner sphincter.  This sphincter is an involuntary muscle and you can’t control it consciously, no matter how hard you try.

Why does this matter?

Simple!  Depending on where you’re at in terms of your poop cycle, that inner sphincter might not be the most cooperative.  If you try to shove something in there with serious quickness, you might upset that inner sphincter.  And! It might just fight back.  When that inner sphincter fights back … the most common sensation is discomfort, not pleasure.

The solution?  Go slow upon first insertion of … well … whatever it is you’re putting in your or your partner’s anus.  Initially, that inner sphincter is going to fight back a little bit, but as something stays in the anus longer and longer, that inner sphincter is going to get tired.  Once it tires out, it’s not going to be able to fight against you anymore, and you can pick up the pace!

It’s like that boxing strategy where you let your opponent pummel you until they get too tired to fight.  Just when they can’t throw any more punches, you put your game-face on and start throwing punches of your own!  (Except instead of delivering punches, you’ll be delivering pleasure.)

Fundamental #5, Part 2: Start Small

I want to begin this by asking you to imagine some of the poops you’ve taken in the past.

Why?

Well, honestly, I want you to remember some of the big poops you’ve taken.  Based on those poops, I’m sure you know that the anus/rectum can actually accommodate objects that are equal to or even larger than a penis.

However.  Because of your double sphincter action, it’s a great idea to let the anus warm up before you go that big when you’re first starting with anal play.

What’s small?  A finger, maybe two.  Maybe a small butt plug or anal dildo.*

Essentially, if your end goal is to fit a penis or penis-sized object in the anus/rectum, start smaller than that and gradually work your way up!

Fundamental #5, Part 3: Communicate 

Time for you to bust out your imagination again!

Your partner is going down on you.  Everything is going really well.  They are working that tongue like they’ve never worked it before.  They’re using their hands in really creative ways and you’re just diggin’ every moment.

And then, without warning, you feel a finger poking around your anus and you are shocked!

What happens to a surprised body?

That’s right.  It tenses up.

Your partner keeps trying to jam their finger into your totally tense asshole, and instead of exquisite pleasure, you’re probably just feeling really uncomfortable.

Must it always be so?

No!  Of course not.  Although playing with the anus might become a part of your normal routine and may not require verbal notice after a while, it’s a great idea to give your partner the heads up the first few times.

Why?  The brain!  If you give your partner a heads up before you pinky their bootyhole, they can consciously relax that outer sphincter, making it much easier for your pinky to enter.   And as a double bonus, a relaxed anus is much more likely to experience pleasure than a tense anus.

So!  Shoot your partner a little warning, and they’re more likely to dig what’s happening.

Fundamental #5, Part 4: Use Lube

I’ma say it again!  USE LUBE.

Especially if you have plans to enter and/or thrust inside the rectum.

Even though the rectum has similar pleasure physiology to the vagina, it does not lubricate like the vagina does.  There are natural liquids chillin’ in there, but they do not replenish when someone gets turned on.  When someone is thrusting, friction increases, and the heat makes anything that is inside the anus evaporate.

Once that small amount of natural slipperiness is gone, whatever’s being thrust into the anus is going to start catching on the walls of the rectum.   The walls of the rectum are really fragile, and this is just about the moment when tissues start tearing.

And when tissues tear … it’s painful.   And that’s when you get the “Ow!” response instead of the “Unnnnnggghhhh” response.

And I don’t know about you, but I prefer the latter response when I’m hunchin’ down with my sex partners.

What kind of lube should you use?

Something water or silicone based and on the thicker side is usually a good call.  The thicker the lube, the more padding you have to protect the walls of your rectum from whatever is being put inside there.  Usually, thick water based lubes are known as gel lubes.

Fundamental #5, Part 5: Rock a Flared Base

Okay.  One last journey into the world of your imagination.

You’ve acquired a standard smoothie vibrator and you and your partner decide the best place to use it is in your partner’s rectum.  After you give your partner the heads up, you slowly insert the lubed up vibrator into your partner’s anus.  They’re totally diggin’ it … and then the fire alarm goes off!

Oh shit!  In your shock, you let go of the vibrator.

Now, remember our friend the inner sphincter?  On a good day, that inner sphincter will push that vibe right on out.  Good deal.  You throw on some robes, and gather outside to see if there actually was a fire, or if that punk-ass grandma down the hall is fucking with everyone again.

Bad day?  That inner sphincter sucks that smoothie vibe right up inside the rectum.  And the damn thing gets stuck.  And you have to run to the hospital and lie to the nurse about how you “fell on it.”  And then your x-ray ends up here.

Please don’t be that x-ray.

Need examples of what I mean when I say flared base?  Check out this excellently done public service announcement by Sex Nerd Sandra.

Now that your imagination is no longer needed, let me just say one more thing:

Great Sex Fundamental #5:  If you’re new to anus and rectum play … go slow, start small, communicate, use lube, and rock a flared base!

Oh, and of course:

Action Steps for Great Action

1) Sit down with yourself or with a partner, and choose an appropriate object for anal insertion.

Example:  Your partner has never had anything in their anus, and you two don’t really think that you’ll use a sex toy more than once.  So, you decide to work your way up to a penis by using fingers first.

2) Go Lube Shopping!

You can either:

1. Hit up your favorite local sex toy shop and ask a knowledgeable clerk.
2. Buy a lube sample pack from an online retailer and test some out until you find your favorite lube!

So!  There it is.  If you’re a beginner to anal play, these are some steps that I think can really help out in making your butt play the best it possibly can be!

Go Get Some!
-Becca 

*Full Disclosure:  I have recently become an affiliate with Good Vibrations.  The links are there to give you examples of what I'm talking about.  But, if you click the links and then buy stuff, the proceeds go to support me.  But!  Even if that wasn't the case, I'd still recommend these products!

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